Mason County Line

Mason County Line

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YDZNGeZkrk


A novel by
Count: V V Nicolzah
Novel #59 PG-13

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
Isaiah 40: 29

Chapter one
Azazel Fictitious the Unknown




Act I

"My name is Bathory Draculliah Barthenheier, but everyone calls me Dracie." The little chick chirped. "Drac...! For ultra-short folks like me self." She giggled. "Turned four-foot ten just yesterday! Nice huh?"

The young, dark brunette grinned as she slipped onto the black, high-back executive chair, swinging her tinted little, minuscule, athletic-toned buttocks in the process! As if it were even big enough to notice anyway! (Sorry.)

"Maiden name?" The harsh, experienced US Marshal hissed.

"Want the truth?"

Crickets could be heard.

Bathory shook her head frustrated. "Once more. It's… BARTHENHEIER. B-A-R-T-H-E-N-H-E-I-R-E-R! DO NOT ASK ME ABOUT MY MARRIAGE HISTORY EITHER!"

Sergeant Morris hit the table with his hand. "Stop right here and now with your childishness, young lady!" He instantly regained composure. "Please work with me, lassie."

The young girl's face was promptly met with a dejected look by that unpleasant man over there.

"Oh-Tay!" Bathory gave a pouty-lipped wink. "Am I in twouble? Still wove me?"

Morris slowly rolled his eyes, weary and ready for an uphill battle. "Let us continue, shall we? Where were you born?"

"Which time? I get around... kinda karmic dat way! Interested?"

There was a slight halt in time, but not space.

"Again, where were you born? Please."

"New London."

"Connecticut?"

"No… GERMANY!"

"D*AMN IT!" SLAM! A bare, open palm slapped hard onto the desktop. "She be irritating me, bozz!" The sergeant glanced up from the depths of his sweat-soaked palms. "I mean really... really foe-king bad... bozz!"

"Just relax, Bartender." Captain Beldings pleaded from his reclined chair. "Do as the Sergeant asks of you and stop making him wait! Why the heck does that have to be so difficult?"

"NO! YA SEE... THE PROBLEM IS THAT IT BECOMES ANNOYING AFTER THE FIFTH DANG TIME!"

"LOOK, YOU LITTLE INSOLENT SNOT!" Sergeant Morris threw his arms in the air. "Either collaborate with us, or I will devise a method to not only expel your frail posterior from this nation but also from the entirety of this... COMPLETE... EXPLETIVE PLANET!" he yelled, unaware of what he had just uttered. "Feel me now... SPARKY?" (Oh yippy. That one just has to hurt!)

"Amazing" Clapping her hands and grinning broadly, Bathory said. "Spike, that was a really expressive show!" Throwing a little salt in the wound, she laughed! “Are you, by chance, single and unwilling?”

The air was becoming heavy just as Bathory's luck was starting to fade.

"YOU CAN GO TAH HE...!"

"BIRTH DATE!" screamed the other karmic dude!

There was a mild pause.

"October 12, 1840."

"Which year?"

"She says 1840, bozz. She's a weird one!"

"Okay! I'll investigate that later. Let's please continue. Social Security number?”

"BR5-49!" Chuckled Dracie innocently. (Something she heard her pappy say once while being pulled over in, frikken... WILLY FIELD, ANTARCTICA!?!)

Morris shook his head, smiling. "What are you, lady? I mean, other than a little smart alack... CHILD supporting a colossal bullish*t attitude?"

Suddenly Captain Beldings. noticed something rather unexpected around the young woman's neck. “So, what’s with the dog tags?"

Bathory quickly poked around to ensure her ID tags were still in her shirt. “What? How about… that's none of your business! Dies that work? I also collect nasty pictures too! Wanna see yer wife?
Ha, ha! Just kidding!”

The sergeant turned to the Captain Beldings . “Can you believe his sh*te, boss?"

"YEAH! Old lady is going to kill me now," he muttered to himself. "Thanks a lot, ya little b*tch!"

For a very brief moment, the sound of silence filled the misty old government office.

"Yawl have any Doctor Pepper?"

"WHY ARE THEY IN YOUR POSSESSION?”

Dracie flinch, darted, then sighed. “I have answered all of your ridiculous questions... honestly and completely! What more do you want?"

“I WANT THE TRUTH!”

(AWE CHIT! Shouldn't have said that, brah!)

“LISTEN UP... WIENNE ROAST! YOU WANT THE TRUTH! THERE IS NO TRUTH IN THIS... HALF ATHED... MONKEY LOVE EN... FORKED-OVER-WONDER BREAD WORLD! ARE YOU NOT AWARE OF THAT, CHIT POUR BRAINS?”

Captain Beldings slammed his fist hard onto the tabletop once again, just striking Bathory’s left arm.

She flashed a glance to her arm, then to her aggressor. She had a look of her father when enraged! Suddenly her eyes drew excessive blood, and her voice dropped excessively low. Leaning forward...

“You touch me again... MOTHER-FUCKER! And you're going to lose that... FUCK’N HAND!" Bathory was dead serious too! "That I can promise you!" She hissed! "Ya wanna take this shit any further? Or submit to me this instant? I'm not here to play little bullshit games with you karmic fucks! Ya know?"

Sergeant Morris quickly jumped to his feet. "KNOCK OFF WITH THE ATTITUDE, KID, BEFORE I DECIDE TO STRIP SEARCH YOU, TOO!"

"LOOK AT HER EYES!"

“JUST TRY! I’ll send you straight back to hell, where you came from... DEMON!” Bathory stood, promptly turning to leave.

"YOU SET THAT SCRAWNY BUTT DOWN!" The sergeant demanded, taking a firm grip of Dracie’s right bicep. That was the biggest mistake of his bloody life!

In an instant, Bathory spun, burying the heel of her palm hard and deep into the base of the officer's nose, sending large fragments of bone deep into his frontal cerebrum, killing him instantly!

Without hesitation, Captain Beldings quickly jumped to his feet, drawing his Colt 45 auto. In an instant, Bathory snapped his forearm with one extensive blow of her deadly fist!

“AH! YOU B*TCH!” He wailed, unexpectedly, dropping to his knees from the unexpected rage of pain! Now he was entirely at Lady Nicolzah’s mercy!

“NO! KID... PLEASE!" he pleaded helplessly. "WALK OUT OF HERE! JUST LEAVE! YOUR FREE! I BEG OF YOU!" He shuffled to the corner where the spy cam was recording and yelled loudly. "LET THE SUSPECT OUT OF THE BUILDING; THIS INSTANT!"

Bathory gave a sarcastic smirk as she turned to leave. “D*mned fools! Didn’t you mammy's ever teach you tabbies never fool with a... DIVINE VALKYRIE ASSASSIN? FUCKING WET NURSES!”

Captain Beldings shook his head, trembling from the excruciating pain.

“The strident individual is the one most misunderstood!" She laughed, picked up the 45, and promptly shot Captain Beldings directly between the eyes, showering his brains along the back wall of the small room.

Bathory admired her new weapon. With a giggle. "Nice gun! Thanks! I'll add it to my collection. Along with my badges!”

The young battle-hardened warrior turned right as she exited the old brick building and headed down the back alley between the police station and the Ararat Theater.

“Bathory Barthenheier! STOP! PLEASE STOP!" A young policewoman's voice screamed from behind several parked cars. With her badge held out, the young undercover police rookie cautiously approached. "LISTEN! My name is Officer Sarah Chance! I can help you!"

Dracie slowly turned her head, undetermined to negotiate. "Trust a cop with the name Chance? FER REAL, B*TCH!"

"BATHORY! DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?"

"HEY! THAT'S MY LINE... THIEF!"

end of act I